I'm a student. If you're reading this, chances are, so are you. I have no money. If you're reading this, and are not somehow immune from the boulders of debt tumbling down upon us from our crumbling society (Babyboomers are up there with jackhammers, I swear), chances are, neither do you. You do, however, need a car, and so do I.
Why do you need a car? Because you're almost done school and are ready to jump headfirst into the working world, into the sea of jobs that are just itching and waiting for you! You need a car to get there. Why? Because you live in North America, where 'we got fuel to burn and roads to drive'. If you lived in Europe, I guess you could get on a tram or monorail or something lame like that and commute to work. But look where Europe is now, with all their debt and stuff. Totally because of monorails.
So you know you need a car to prevent economic collapse, and because you're a student, you're totally loaded and just looking for ways to put a dent in your mountains of cash. Where do you go? You could go down to your local car dealer and see what they've got on their lot. But that requires not only time, but effort. It requires doing something other than opening your laptop, and we can't have that.
Enter Kijiji: the marketplace of champions. With this brilliant tool, one can find the chariot of their dreams without ever leaving his parents' basement. With no rules, guidelines or grammar checks, Kijiji ensures access to only the brightest and most business-savvy wheel-dealin' mavericks on the internet. Thousands of horseless carriages of unspeakable power and grace are posted every day, and the deals are ripe for the picking. Sounds bueno!
But wait! What's that? You don't know how to pick out a car? You want me to do that for you? Well, if you insist on drawing on my extensive knowledge and expertise (I picked out my fiancee's grandmother's car, and she totally loves it), I suppose I can stoop down to lend you all a hand.