1978 Cadillac Eldorado Biarritz

You know what's cool these days? Saving gas. Everyone wants to deliver Mother Earth from the impending doom that is hurtling down upon her caused by the plague, the pestilence, the infection that is humanity.

Problem is, this trend has been going on far too long. Most trends, like bell-bottom jeans, planking, and liking Ron Paul, go out of style after a few months. Environmentalism has been the sensation that's been sweeping the nation for like 40 years now, and it's getting a little old in the gums.

Mark my totally unqualified words; this bubble is about to burst. Nothing can be cool for too long. You want to be a trendsetter? You want to be cool by doing whatever it is that makes you cool before it becomes cool? You want to be cool enough to use the word 'cool' in a sentence more than I just did? Then buy this, and watch your popularity skyrocket:

From the grand year of 1978, replete with Landau roof, porthole windows and a 42-foot-long hood (though missing the optional bull horns) comes this Demitasse Brown Cadillac Eldorado. For $3,900 and a trip to Burlington, you can know what it's like to drive an aircraft carrier through your neighbourhood. You'll hear Mother Earth screaming for mercy as you show her who's really in control; the 7.0L V8 pushes 180 raging, gas-guzzling horses through the front wheels while the exhaust belches out more greenhouse gasses than its typical owner would after Matt's Yo Quiero Chili.

But wait, this isn't just any old Cadillac; it's a Biarritz. See what the last four letters in that word spell? That's right: ritz. As in high-class society. As in 'people better respect the five parking spaces your mobile sitting room fills'. I call it a mobile sitting room because the design of this car, and many like it, revolved around the idea that your car had to be plusher and more comfortable than your favourite armchair. A little known fact: from 1975 to 1990, Cadillac's interior upholstery was supplied by Jet-Puffed marshmallows.

So if you think you're enough of a trailblazer to go against the grain, I'd recommend you look into this bad boy. It's actually a reasonable price for the Biarritz, and the mileage is pretty decent. The car looks clean, but the time stamp indicates said pictures were taken over five years ago, so I wouldn't advocate buying it unseen.

Tres risque. Full ad